A Priceless Moment

The Setting: Asher's football game. It is evening and we are under the lights. Asher gets the ball and runs the wrong way!

The coach and me from the sidelines: "Wrong way Asher! Run the other way Asher!"

Asher looks at me smiling and then trips over his own feet. He immediately checks to see if his flags are still on. He proudly trots off the field after getting some nice pats on the back.

Asher to me: "Did I keep my flags Mommy?"

Me: "Yes, Buddy you did!" He hugs me and says "Yes!"

Me: "But Asher, why did you run the wrong way?"

Asher: "It wasn't wrong Mommy" like I missed the most obvious thing in the world. "I was sneaky. They knew I was going to run that way" (pointing to the right end zone) "so I ran that way!".

Well, how to you argue that?!

Joy

I found my joy again. As my blogs have probably revealed, it has been lost for awhile. Probably has been lost since Joel left 12 weeks ago. I have truly been struggling with anger and resentment for being left alone, and sadly have taken it out on the kids. My weekend away with God was amazing, refreshing, rest for the soul, and convicting. The Lord showed me that since Joel's deployment I had been trying to live my life as a woman without kids. It always seemed they were in the way. "I have to get a sitter for this and miss out on that and pour myself out every day". Yes, much resentment. God opened my eyes to it and told me to let it go and embrace motherhood and my kids again. I only hope it isn't too late! I feel my eyes have been opened up again to my 3 beautiful blessings and I pray to keep this eyesight.

Today Blessing #2, our little Anna Rosie, turned 4. She has been counting down to this day for about 6 months! She didn't go to sleep until 9:30 last night because she was beside herself with excitement. We had a wonderful day together and a great evening birthday party. The smile never left her face today. She got everything she asked for...a jump house, face painting, a butterfly cake, and friends to share in the occasion. I was blessed with neighborhood women descending upon the party to help set up, cook, and clean up when all was done. But before you see pictures of the party, I wanted to start with a reflection of our beautiful "caterpillar". Where does the time go? I certainly don't want to resent these moments and miss them as they fly by. May joy continue to overflow through my children into our lives.

Anna or "anna-naut" as we called her in her oxygen bubble during the first week of her life.

6 months old

Just after her 1st birthday.

2 years old.

My 4 year old beauty.

Face painting at the party.

Anna's butterfly cake. Yes, I made it (and am awful proud. This is the 1st cake I have ever made for one of our kid's birthdays).

The princess and her castle. She literally jumped in her ALL day. I spent about 10 minutes jumping with her and felt like I had run a marathon.

Happy Birthday Anna! Thank you for all the joy you bring to my life.

A Weekend Getaway

Yes, that is right. I am going on a weekend get way, a PWOC (protestant women of the chapel) conference downtown in Waikiki, with my girlfriends. A weekend of worship, bible study, and a break from the kids. I will get to eat my food when it is hot, sleep until I want to get out of bed, take a shower without a kid interrupting, no cleaning up after meals, have a whole conversation without stopping to discipline, no poppy diapers, no trains being lobbed at my head, and no chasing Jesse down the street for 2.5 days! I am beyond excited for this little break. I am praying that it will be a rejuvenating time in the Lord and refreshing time for me, to spur me on for these last 8 weeks. I have been SO exhausted and learned this past week in bible study the Lord can only renew our strength when we wait on him. When we wait on the "thing" (ex. the day when Joel comes home), we will continue to be depleted. I really reflected on that the past 2 days and realized I am totally waiting for Joel's return and not the Lord alone. So this weekend I hope to change my focus for "those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not be weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

On a side note, thank you to the dear friend who sent me fall in a box! The smell of those leaves...I can't even put it into words. The kids were amazed to see all the different colors. It made my heart ache. Thank you thank you thank you for that special treat. I am officially a leaf sniffer.

I Spy Something Pink...

And it's Asher's eye! Asher woke up this morning with his right eye swelled shut and crusty. Once he finally opened it, it looked like someone had punched him (maybe Anna did in her sleep?). Alas, the poor thing has pink eye. It was God testing my heart to change a very busy day and focus on my kids since Asher would not be going to school. I don't do well with sudden change to a schedule and it sent me scrambling and a bit resentful. Asher has already been home for close to 2 weeks due to "fall break" and now will be home for most of this week. "Lord, I have plans! Please give me a break" I found myself crying this morning. But it truly turned into an enjoyable day. I think the highlight to Asher's day was accompanying me to a sailing lesson I committed to giving where he laid on a blanket in the shade, cheered for me, and drew sailboats. He says he always wants to go sailing with me now! When we finally made it to the doctor, however, he had spiked a fever and fell asleep in my arms in the waiting room. This is a huge shock coming from the one who NEVER naps, slows down for a second, and would stay up until midnight if we let him. So instead of enjoying my normal Monday night out (I get a sitter every Monday night for some Mommy away time in Joel's absence), I enjoyed a nice evening dinner on our back porch with our neighbors. It was quiet and restful...no running to football practice, the commissary, shoving dinner down before the sitter arrives, trying to find a time to talk to Joel. We had a great conversation with Joel and it was a lovely and blessed evening that even the kids enjoyed. Asher had perked up with medicine but this was him by 8:00pm in our neighbor's popisan chair on their back porch. I probably could have left him there all night. Thank you Lord for helping me to slow down and enjoy my kids a little. May we enjoy another one tomorrow. I pray that Asher's feels better soon and that the other 2 don't get it!

Time Passes, Tomatoes Grow

It has been 10 weeks since Joel left. We are half way there! I expected some major relief or excitement when we reached this milestone, but it didn't really come. To be honest 10 weeks has seemed like a year and I can't fathom trudging through the time to match what has already passed. We have had good days. We have had GREAT days. We have had bad days. and there have been days when I didn't want to get out of bed in the morning. This week I have really been struggling with anger issues and have been on my knees in prayer trying to fight through it. I am tired and am starting to have a hard time remembering who is supposed to be where and when and what appointments need to be made. I actually forgot a major appointment for Asher until an hour after we were supposed to be there! Asher has had medicine sitting at the pharmacy (3 blocks from where we live) for over a week now and I keep forgetting to go get it! I feel control slipping out of my hands and am praying for peace and rest in Him.

We try to share as much of our lives as we can over the computer but there is still a hole in our lives. It has been hard finding times to sit and talk. The kids live so many moments and say "I can't wait to tell Daddy about this" and "we have to bring Daddy here when he gets home". They think of him all the time. They literally pray for him every night "Please keep Daddy safe while he is on his very long trip". Jesse thinks "Da" has turned into the computer screen. Every time he passes it, he looks at it, points, and says "da" or comes running when he sees me sitting at the desk. Anna and Asher have drawn upteen million pictures to mail to him. As soon as they see the box on the counter they frantically start drawing. He is so dear to them and to me. We miss you Joel. We are proud of you. We are hanging in there. We are trying to live every moment and not just survive.

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full".

John 10:10

The Big News

We are moving to Ohio!!! We just received word that Joel has been selected for a job at the NRO "national reconnaissance office" with the Air Force. This includes receiving his master's degree in Electrical Engineering at the Air Force Institute of Technology in Dayton, Ohio (an 18 month program) starting in August, and then a 4 year follow up assignment with the NRO in Chantilly, VA. We are super excited to be back on the east coast!! I seriously just went out and started buying winter clothes on sale for the kids...is that pathetic or what?! Dayton will be 3 hours from my parents and 7.5 from Joel's, not to mention how close we will be to many dear friends. Next fall I too will be enjoying the fall weather, leaves changing colors, apple picking, the first snowfall, looking forward to Christmas with family. I know you all think I am crazy being here in paradise but it is amazing what you miss. It is real life, not a vacation, and hard being so far away from family for so long. While we are VERY thankful for this time and will be living it up over the next 9 months, we are so so so blessed to see God moving in our future and overwhelming us with the desires of our hearts. I even bought a sweater at Old Navy last night!

Speaking of Old Navy...during the great sweater buying adventure I managed to lose my cell phone. Thankfully we had insurance coverage on it (cell phones and I DO NOT get along) so a new one is on its way to me. However, I may be unreachable for the rest of this week. In addition, my address book of numbers is lost so please please email me your phone number if you would ever like a call from me in the future. My number is the same so no worries there.

Friday Night Lights

Asher had his first football game last night. His team is the Cowboys and every Wednesday the parents get to make a banner for them to run through...so cute! The boys loved it. Asher still isn't the best athlete in the world but he is having fun, and we can see that he has made progress because he isn't on the ground crying or breakdancing this time (so far at least). It was so fun being out there on a Friday night cheering on the kids (we could almost pretend is was cold)..it was very reminiscent of high school football days.

The banner just before the kids ran through.

Warming up before the game. Asher is on the right.

Asher getting some defense advice from his coach.

Anna, the best cheerleader of the night!

Jesse is ready to join the team. I think I may have only gotten to watch about 3 plays of the game because I was chasing this little man the entire time. He ran off with the end zone markers, kept running on the field, climbing the bleachers...it was exhausting! I think he may have a babysitter next Friday, or a leash :).